Why We Need More Women At The Top
When Mum told me she chose Alexandra so I could use Alex and be assumed a dude - I was educated enough to know it could be a huge asset in her time but naive enough to believe that for me, it was irrelevant.
Fast forward a decade, and to my surprise - I learned otherwise.
Hi, I’m Alexandra Stacey James, but Alex James - strategically, for short…
Now, this is not a story of sinister sexism and overt discrimination but instead highlights a powerful insight into unconscious bias.
Ten years ago, I started working in roles that required dealing with C-Level executives of SME’s (Small To Medium Enterprises), up to multi-billion dollar businesses.
As it turned out, my name became an asset.
Thanks to these senior leaders strongly resisting calls, the initial stages of these relationships were entirely online…I could communicate with them for months via email only.
I started to notice an interesting trend, so I started to play with it - intentionally…
I observed that by tailoring my language slightly and keeping my signature “Alex James,” it was easier to get a reply or meeting. I could instantly tell by their response if they thought I was a man, which is where it got interesting…
1. They would refer to me as “mate”
2. The emails would be more direct
3. They were more open to meeting (which would later be the fun part for me - the look on their face would be priceless)
From this field data, I hypothesized a few key insights:
1. Thinking I was a man created an instant camaraderie
(makes sense)
2. The communication style is more aligned to their own meant feeling less effort in responding
(fair)
3. They felt less friction in building a relationship with a stranger of the same gender
(I get that)
While not ideal, that’s natural human behaviour. We trust people like us.
This leads me to my first point for International Womens Day…
1. It’s not enough to assume (for men and women) that because you’re not an a&$hole - aka not sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. - that you aren’t unconsciously contributing to the problem.
We are conditioned one way, which means that the fight for equality is everyone's fight against their own unconscious prejudice.
My second point…
This story illustrates why it’s imperative women are fairly represented in influential seats.
Without this, we’re creeping forward with the handbrake on.
Women need others “like us” in influential seats to trust and be trusted by.
And due to the centuries of dominance by men, we require unequal dominance supporting women until the issue is rectified.
To find equilibrium after a history of inequity, we need to actively over-support those oppressed by it.
To be neutral or passive is to be part of the problem.
This is why days like International Womens Day are so important.
Because it’s too easy to let time pass accepting “good” and let slow progress be “enough”,… and that’s not how we succeed at anything.
My name doesn’t define me so isn't it strange to consider that it could confine me.
